The first year of marriage is a very exciting time in your life; however, it’s also very challenging! While it marks the beginning of a beautiful journey filled with love, companionship, and growth, there are also other areas where you and your spouse could use some major improvement—I would know, my husband and I just hit our one-year anniversary a couple of weeks ago and we’ve had our fair share of bumpy days.
First of all, it’s important to go into marriage knowing there will be disagreements, differences in lifestyle, and uncommunicated expectations. That’s something you’ll learn within your first month of marriage!
Keeping that in mind, it’s incredibly important to build a solid foundation from day one (or even before you’re married!) in order to set the stage for a lasting and fulfilling marriage.
So how exactly do you do that? Well, here are 8 essential steps that you and your sweetheart should take during this crucial period. They are absolute must-do things for your first year of marriage that will pave the road for a lifetime of happiness together.
Is The First Year of Marriage the Hardest?
I’m sure you’ve heard the so-called advice time and time again: “the first year of marriage is the hardest!”
I would agree that in some aspects it is. You’re trying to figure out how to build a life together, and that takes immeasurable time and effort from both sides.
In my personal opinion, I think people are referring to miscommunication and learning to join two separate lives together when they refer to the difficulties of the first year.
Don’t let that scare you though! There are also many wonderful things in your first year of marriage.
You’ll learn so much as you delve into the world of married life, including difficult topics like finances and sexual intimacy, to name a few, which in time will help you to learn and grow, and overall become a better person than you could ever become on your own.
So let’s dive into 8 major things that you need to establish in your first year of marriage so you can have more ups than downs in your first year!
1. Learn Effective Communication
Communication is, without a doubt, the cornerstone of any successful relationship, and it’s especially critical during the first year of marriage!
Learning to communicate openly and honestly with your partner is essential for resolving conflicts and understanding each other’s needs and desires. If you didn’t discuss expectations for different aspects of life while dating, make sure you do so during the first year of marriage.
It’s also extremely important early on in your marriage to ensure you’re taking the time to actively listen to your spouse and express your thoughts and feelings with compassion and empathy. The golden rule absolutely applies here, treat your spouse the way you’d like to be treated.
2. Establish Financial Harmony
So maybe you’re not at the stage of harmony yet, but in the beginning, try to at least reach a point of financial understanding and set, at a minimum, a loose budget and spending boundaries.
My husband and I decided, in the beginning, to discuss any purchase over $50. We do this not because either of us needs permission to spend money, but so we can make purchase decisions together and prioritize what we do with our money.
Discussing finances might not be the most romantic aspect of marriage, but it’s a fundamental part of building a secure future together.
Make sure you take the time to sit down with your partner and create a budget, set financial goals, and plan for any major expenses or investments. Being on the same page financially can prevent unnecessary stress and conflicts down the road.
3. Cultivate Shared Interests
While having your own hobbies and interests is important in marriage (we all need our me time!), finding activities you both enjoy is just as important so you can strengthen your bond and create new memories together.
Choose to explore new hobbies or revisit old ones as a couple! Whether you spend time cooking together, hiking, dancing, or traveling, shared experiences create lasting memories and reinforce your connection. Plus, who doesn’t love a little trip down memory lane via recreating a favorite date night?
4. Practice Forgiveness
As with any other relationship, marriage comes with many ups and downs, and the first year will bring unexpected challenges.
You will make many mistakes, and so will your spouse…trust me, I would know! I have enough self-awareness to realize I’m not the easiest person to get along with. This awareness is so important because it can help you find areas where you need to work on in order to better your relationship and help you love your spouse in the way that they deserve.
Learning to forgive and let go of past grievances is vital for the health of your relationship. Holding onto grudges can create resentment, unnecessary contention (read: 10 essential fight-preventing products), and erode trust.
Instead, focus on finding resolutions and moving forward together. Marriage isn’t about compromising, it’s about collaborating to reach shared goals and focusing on the values that are most important to you.
5. Spend Quality Time Together
Life gets insanely busy, you and I both know that. This just goes to show how essential it is to carve out quality time for one another!
Make it a point to have regular date nights or simply spend quiet moments together, enjoying each other’s company. These small gestures of affection can nurture your emotional connection and keep the romance alive.
If you can develop this habit in your first year of marriage you will be better prepared for the future when finding time to spend together gets even harder—because making time for date night doesn’t get easier when you have kids, it’s quite the opposite.
One more key point here, when planning time together make sure to take into account the way that your spouse likes to be loved, and their favorite ways to spend quality time together.
If you don’t prioritize your time together, that time will find a way to disappear! Whether you opt for a two-player game night, at-home movie date, or something else entirely, figure out an activity that works for you and your schedule and make it happen!
6. Build a Support System
While marriage is only between two people, that doesn’t mean it’s you and your spouse against the world. Don’t try to get through difficult times alone, there are much easier ways!
If you can build a strong support system of close friends, family members, or professional mentors, you will have a network of people to turn to during challenging times so you don’t have to go ‘it alone!
7. Prioritize Intimacy
Physical intimacy is a vital aspect of a healthy marriage (I have a post all about the 10 Best Sexual Intimacy Tips & Resources for Newlyweds). However, intimacy goes beyond just the physical.
Emotional and intellectual intimacy are equally important. Cultivate trust and vulnerability in your relationship, allowing you both to open up and connect on a deeper level.
It’s vital to your marriage that you’re willing to put yourself out there and bring all of those things about yourself that no one else gets to see and share them with your life partner. Let them be your safe space and you’ll be surprised how much comfort their acceptance of you will bring!
8. Discuss Future Goals
In the first year of marriage, it’s essential to discuss your long-term goals both as individuals and as a couple. This includes career aspirations, family planning, and personal growth objectives.
While these goals will change over time, knowing where you are now and where you hope to be will make it easier to find the next steps you should take.
Knowing where you both envision yourselves in the future can help align your paths and make joint decisions more effectively. Plus, your spouse will be a tremendous help in pushing you to meet those goals and shaping you into the best version of yourself!
The first year of marriage lays the foundation for a lifelong journey together. By prioritizing effective communication, financial harmony, shared interests, forgiveness, quality time, and intimacy, you can nurture a strong, loving bond.
Building a robust support system and discussing future goals will further strengthen your relationship.
Above all, always remember that marriage requires effort and commitment, but with love and dedication, you can create a fulfilling partnership that stands the test of time.
It’s up to you to create a lifetime of love, growth, and happiness, one day at a time!
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