Let me start off by saying, I love Christmas; family time, Christmas lights, baking cookies, cheesy Hallmark movies, I love it all!
I’m one of those weirdos who will start listening to Christmas music on November 1st, and I enjoy it, too—but not all Christmas music is created equally…there are 5 Christmas songs that I just can’t stand.
The holiday season is fun and exciting, but it can also be very stressful (especially when it comes to finding great gifts) so I hope I can provide some comedic relief today.
On that note, please don’t take this post too seriously, no offense was meant to be taken from it.
Today I’ll be sharing, in my opinion, the 5 worst Christmas songs. Let’s all unite together in shared trauma over these jingle bell flops, shall we?
5 – Wonderful Christmastime
In spot number 5 is Paul McCartney’s Wonderful Christmastime. Christmas is all about love and joy, and this song doesn’t make me feel any of those feelings.
Christmas and techno? They go together like peanut butter and tuna fish.
You know that feeling when you’re untangling Christmas lights, which takes wayyy longer than anticipated, and you finally get them untangled only to realize there’s a bulb out and the strand is half dead?
That’s how this song makes me feel.
4 – Christmas in the Sand
Next up is Colbie Caillat’s Christmas in the Sand. I’m sure every artist struggles to come up with new angles for Christmas songs, feeling like everything has already been done over and over again.
I’ll give her that, she found a new angle and this holiday song is definitely unique.
Not ‘put it on my Christmas playlist’ unique, though. More like ‘I heard it once while shopping at JC Penny’s and think it’s a weird song’ unique.
Sure it’s cute and catchy, but I just can’t get past the ‘I saw Santa in his bathing suit’ line. That’s definitely not my childhood fantasy, Colbie.
3 – Santa Buddy
Coming in at number 3 is Santa Baby: a popular, semi-classic Christmas song, that we all tolerate differently. Some singers can pull it off. Others…not so much.
I wish someone would’ve said ‘Michael, no.’ when Mr. Bublé had Santa Baby on his Christmas album list.
To make things even worse he changed up the lyrics, adding in fun little phrases like:
- Santa buddy
- Santa pally
- Santa poppy
- forgot to mention one little thing, cha-ching
- and I’ll wait up for you dude
Apparently light blue isn’t masculine enough, but steel blue made the cut. Yikes.
2 – If You Sit on My Lap Today
If I was making a playlist called ‘Creepy Christmas Tunes’, this would be the first one on the list: If You Sit on My Lap Today from the movie Santa Claus Is Coming to Town.
Honestly, it’s just awful, especially for a kids’ movie. The deep voice with lyrics like ‘oh, what a good girl’, and ‘a kiss per toy is the price you’ll pay’ is not a good combo.
‘Don’t be stingy, be prepared to pay’? Okay, Santa, guess I’ll get my toys elsewhere.
1 – Christmastime is Here
We’ve made it to the last one! In first place we have Christmastime is Here from A Charlie Brown Christmas.
I’m pretty sure when this song was created the thought process went something like this:
‘What makes a great Christmas song? Upbeat music, joyful singing, fun lyrics, etc. Hmm…let’s do the opposite.’
That, my friends, is the only plausible explanation for how we ended up with this delightful Christmas funeral march tune.
I hope you enjoyed this post on my 5 least favorite Christmas songs and maybe even let out a laugh or two!
It was pretty cathartic for me to write, and I should hopefully be able to make it through the rest of the holiday season without flipping my lid when I hear one of these 5 songs come on the radio. 😉
Let me know what your favorite and least favorite Christmas songs are in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you!
Happy holidays, everyone!
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