One of the best things about being in a committed relationship is always having someone who is there for you!
It’s a great feeling that most people crave; however, as hard as you might try, there will likely be times when you’ll find you and your partner are away from each other for one reason or another.
Being apart from your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse is definitely challenging, and it can be hard to find that constant support and presence when you’re physically apart.
Just a few short weeks after our engagement, my husband went on a family trip with his parents. Being apart for 10 days seemed crazy when we’ve spent time together almost every day since we started dating officially.
Of course, I’d miss my then-fiance while he was gone, but I thought this would be a good way to prepare for hunting season when he’d be away more often. After all, growing up in a family that doesn’t hunt or watch football and then joining one that does definitely takes some adjusting.
Both my parents and my husband’s parents are rarely apart, so that’s an unspoken expectation we both walked into marriage with that neither of us knew we had.
Expectation management, as my husband puts it, is one of the 13 things I started to learn in my first month of marriage and definitely played a part in our long distance relationship expectations.
While I’ve never experienced the traditional long distance relationship, my husband and I have spent way more time apart than we anticipated early on in our marriage.
Life Throws Curveballs
As it turns out, my husband’s 10-day vacation wasn’t a warm-up for hunting season, hunting season was a warm-up for the upcoming months.
Just a few months after getting married, my husband quit his job. It was a good move for us as it wasn’t a job he wanted to continue and he would be better suited to provide for our little family of two in a different career.
His brother owns a woodworking business and offered my husband a temporary job so he could have an income while he figured out what he wanted to do for work.
The only problem? It was 50 miles away from where we lived.
I grew up in a household where my dad had an hour-long commute to work every day, but that really wasn’t plausible in our situation because (1) it was winter and we got a lot of snow, (2) you had to travel through a canyon (which is a problem because of the winter weather), and (3) gas prices were crazy high to justify spending that kind of money and time driving back and forth during the week.
Instead of commuting, my husband stayed at his brother’s house during the week. He would drive down on Monday mornings and come back on Friday evenings, so we spent more than half of our week apart.
Being apart so often definitely made us feel like non-traditional newlyweds, but we found ways to work through the time that we weren’t together which made it a little bit better!
Today I’m going to share those ways with you.
So let’s get started! Here are 7 ways to make being away from your partner easier.
Communicate Often
When you can’t be physically around each other, it’s even more important to make sure you’re making an effort to communicate with each other.
Talk on the phone, send a few texts back and forth, or share a funny social media post. Whatever it is that you and your significant other like to talk about, make sure you’re finding time to catch up every day!
When my husband was away we would try to find at least a few minutes to talk every evening, either just after work or at bedtime.
Even on busy nights when a call wasn’t possible, he would make sure to at least send a sweet text or two during the day so I knew he was thinking of me. This is important so both of you can feel loved even though you’re apart.
Send a cute text or two like you did when you were first dating; just a few words can help to keep the spark alive!
Make the Most of Your Time Together
When the time you have to spend together is limited, it’s important to make the most of it!
One of the best ways to do so is to make sure you plan a date night when you’re together. This doesn’t have to be planned out for months in advance and cost hundreds of dollars, there are plenty of fun (and affordable) things you can do at home!
My husband and I love to make pizookies in mini cast iron skillets and watch a movie for date night! Trust me, these hot oven-baked skillet cookies, topped with ice cream of course, are quick and easy to put together and make a delicious treat to start off your evening!
Bring a fun little campfire treat indoors with an electric smores maker kit! Build a fort like you used to do as kids and enjoy roasting some marshmallows and cozying up with your sweetheart.
Another great way to spend some quality time together is doing a puzzle or two player game! I love the beautiful Thomas Kinkade Disney puzzles and we enjoy playing games together so those are my husband and I’s go-to. Working towards a common goal can help you and your partner to feel more in sync and will definitely help you feel closer together.
These are just a few of my husband and I’s favorite at-home date ideas, but feel free to plan whatever activity sounds fun and exciting to you!
Find Little Ways to Brighten Their Day
Even though you aren’t around your loved one 24/7, you can still find small ways to brighten their day.
Send them a cute text to remind them that you love them, get them excited for the date night you’re planning for their next visit, send them a funny video that reminds you of them, or have flowers or Crumbl cookies delivered to them.
The way you go about making your significant other smile isn’t important, but it is important to find small ways to do so. Particularly if their love language is receiving gifts.
If you need more ideas on how to love them in their love language—or if you want to learn more about love languages—check out the 5 love languages book!
Watch Out for Each Other
In my 5 Best Apps for Couples post, I said “As a married couple (or even while dating, on a smaller scale) you’ve been entrusted to watch out for your significant other on a whole new level.”
Even though you and your partner are currently in a long distance relationship (or ldr), it’s still important to watch out for each other and make sure you’re fulfilling your partner’s needs.
Everyone has basic needs in a relationship, including being loved, cared for, supported, desired, and safe.
It can be difficult to make sure your partner feels like their needs are met on all of these levels, particularly in the safety department as you’re not there to take care of them. This is one of the reasons why I loved having the Life360 app while my husband was away.
On mornings that he was driving to work, especially if it was a snowy morning, I could check in on the app and make sure he made it safely if I hadn’t heard from him. If he was working late I could check on him before I went to bed to make sure he was okay.
That peace of mind made being apart so much easier! Not to mention having a better idea of what time he would be home. If I checked on the app and saw he was 20 miles away I knew when to expect him so I could surprise him with a nice dinner or a fun date night at home right as he walked through the front door.
Explore New Hobbies & Interests
If I hadn’t found a hobby to work on in the evening while my husband was gone (said hobby is this blog!) it would’ve been much harder to be away from each other. With no clear idea of what to do, you’ll likely get bored and feel lonely.
While being apart is difficult, it provides a great new opportunity for you to explore new hobbies and interests that you otherwise might not have done!
Learn a new skill, spend time doing what you love, or find something new you want to try out.
I started this blog on one of the weeknights that my husband was away—something I never would have done without that extra time on my hands!
Having my blog to work on in the evening made the time go by much faster and I was able to use my time to make something amazing! Plus, it’s been a great creative outlet to work through and process my thoughts and feelings.
Now I’m not saying you should start your own blog (although you definitely can if you feel so inclined!), but find something that you want to use your free time to work on and run with it!
Reach Out to Friends and Family
Anytime someone is in a relationship, whether it just started or they’ve been married for years, their relationships with friends and family suffer. Now I don’t mean to put that in such a negative light, it’s just how things go…the circle of life, so to speak.
With the extra time you have by yourself, use some of it to further your relationships with those you care about! Spend a few nights with your friends, visit your family, call your loved ones, and just enjoy the time you have to talk and catch up.
By spending more of your time with other people that you care about you won’t feel so lonely while your partner is gone.
Remind Yourself the Distance is Temporary
So the old saying “Distance makes the heart grow fonder” definitely plays a big part in long distance relationships. The time and distance apart give you a chance to really miss your significant other, and trust me, that’s not all bad!
These feelings can help you realize how lucky you are to have the relationship that you have and can help you to value it even more when the distance is over.
You won’t be apart forever, these feelings of loneliness and lack of physical affection are only temporary. Try to remember that when times get hard—there is light at the end of the seemingly long and dark tunnel. It will be worth the wait!
If you’re in the middle of a long distance relationship right now, I understand how you feel.
I’ve been in your shoes before and it’s no cakewalk; however, now that my husband is home during the week and we’re past the time and distance apart, I definitely appreciate having him around more!
The wait was 100% worth it, and I’m excited for you to experience that feeling too!
In the meantime, make sure you keep tabs on each other and communicate often, that you try to brighten their day and make the most of the time you have together. Use the time you have by yourself to do something you love!
The distance is only temporary, and you and your relationship will be better and stronger for it in the end! You’ve got this.
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